Subject: feeling wrapped in your tenderness
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 07:17:48 EST
What a wonderful weekend. On Saturday, Louise Doering Stevens (who was Ian's adored teacher at the time of his death, is one of my "daughters-of-my-heart," and one of John & Elsa's closest friends) called to give her bests before heading out for a week in Paris. It was wonderful for her to call and delightful each day to think of her & her Pete having a grand time in such a romantic city.
Yesterday, at Louise's suggestion, Elsa whisked me off on a drive-by of Louise's house, where purple crocus literally carpet her front yard. Then, I was chauffeured all over Bryn Athyn to see where spring is breaking out. We went down to Brenda Rydstrom Lindrooth's to see her crocus and snow drops, then past Greta Echols Bochneak's where the very first daffodil had made its solitary appearance. It was a short drive, but so uplifting. Spring is really and truly right around the corner.
We are expecting lovely temperatures today, so I am hoping some of the daffs edging Cairnwood's lawn near the Pike will be in bloom - they look so beautiful and innocent and I am always grateful to Brian Gunther for planting them. We will go to the hospital through Cairncrest to see the snow drops in the woods there (which we skipped yesterday due to the heavy volume of Sunday afternoon walkers.)
The phone rang & rang yesterday, to my great happiness. All of my nieces - Peggy in Missouri, Karen in Nevada and Linda in California - called, as did my nephew Bob, who we were so happy to see in the flesh a couple weeks ago. Daughters-of-my-heart Elsa Asplundh Acton and Leslie Adams rang up and d-o-m-h Brenda stopped by with some of the snow drops I had ooohed and aaaaahed over earlier in the day. E-mailed words of encouragement roll in, along with "You go, girl!" greetings and all sorts of best wishes on tomorrow's surgery.
I do not feel in the least concerned (about impending surgery). I love the quote from the Writings, "For peace has in it confidence in the Lord, that He leads all things to a good end." How can I worry when I know that is true?
I miss my older children. There, again, I hold onto knowing that the Lord leads all things to a good end. The very changes in my life that most other people are happy about - my working toward having a better idea of who I am and a stronger sense of self-love and care - can feel scary to loved ones comfy with me as I was. At one time, their unhappiness would have been enough to put the ky-bosh on my efforts. Now, I know that each of them is where they are meant to be at this time, as am I. One of the greatest blessings I have received over the past two years is a stronger awareness that we function in the Lord's time, not our own. "When a man is in this faith, he is in peace, for he then fears nothing, and no solicitude about things to come disquiets him."
The chain of healing thoughts that kept me company during my early autumn hospital stay and are now in my bedroom will be coming with me to Holy Redeemer tomorrow. I wish you could see it - a chain of bright-colored paper chains with thoughts and quotes that friends sent in when I had my mini-stroke. It will make me think of my entire expanded circle of online loved ones and keep you close to me in thought & spirit. My hospital room will have excerpts from Sark's Living Juicy to help recharge my energy levels and speed my recovery. While I am in the hospital, Faithful Scribe will post on my behalf some of my favorite excerpts from Sark. If you have never read Sark before (I hadn't until this past October), I think you are in for a treat.
You can definitely look for a posting from me tomorrow. I want to talk about death. Seriously. A young relative was horrified at the thought that I would even think about death, that doing so seemed defeatist thinking to her. How wrong she is. It is not morbid for an 89-year old woman who has faith in a more expanded existence than the one we experience here to think about it and share her feelings.
Death seems cruel when it takes an 11-year old, as it did our Ian, but at my age I see it as a trusted traveling companion. But I get ahead of myself. To be continued...
Love to all of you - Grammie Kay
reposted with sweet memories of its author, KATHARINE REYNOLDS LOCKHART, by her scribe/daughter, Elsa Lockhart Murphy aka DEEV
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