from ELM - Mom sitting up!!

Subject: Mom Sitting Up!
Date: July 30, 2001
When we left Alexandria Hospital at 12:30 p.m., Mom
was more or less asleep. Jessie, her wonderful ICU
nurse, had a difficult time waking her up. She tried
"Katharine" - no luck. But "Mrs. Lockhart" seems to
work like a charm - maybe she should try "Pete's Wife"
and see what happens!

Most of what Mom said when she was semi-awake was
inaudible, but there were three things she clearly
said when I was there. When she first woke up and saw
it was her co-Squirrel Havenites, she got this sweet
smile and asked, "Do you like my new dress?" A hospital
gown had replaced the nightgown she was wearing at ad-
mission and through most of yesterday.

Later, when I was getting ready to say my goodbyes,
I promised to get her a big bowl of vanilla ice cream
when she gets back home. She fluttered her eye lips a
bit at that and said, "You're killing me." Forgot that
on the drive down, she'd craved vanilla ice cream;
alas, each time she ordered it, it wasn't available.

When I was heading out the door, I realized she was
trying to tell me something. I went back to the bed,
leaned over close to her lips and listened intently to
what she needed me to know.

"Don't forget to get yogurt and Great Grains."

Can we spell "sharp as a tack"?!?

Peter came down yesterday and will stay until to-
morrow, which is wonderful. The person who made my
leaving almost bearable was his daughter, Whitney
Lockhart Siddons.

From the moment she got the word on Sunday morning
to my call earlier this evening, Whitney has been
awesome. It was Whitney who got Chris and Erin's
phone # and called them with the situation and the
fyi we were cancelling brunch. She and Chad were
at the hospital for hours and hours and hours on
Sunday and she was back again today, making sure
the hospital had necessary signatures and being
invaluable in a dozen other ways.

If it hadn't been for Whitney, who works about
10-15 minutes from the hospital, it would have been
impossible for me to head back home, even though I
have no other option.

Even at that, even knowing Mom was in the best hands
possible and at what seems like an excellent hospital,
I cried a good part of the way home. And I was driving,
which gave it a whole new twist.

It is impossible to describe the feelings that set
the tears flowing - it feels more related to poignancy
than any other emotion. One of the many times when I
wish I was French - they seem to have so many words and
nuances to describe a vastly wider and sublty of emo-
tions, n'est pas?

We got home aroung 5:30 p.m. First thing I did was call
the ICU and talked to Jessie. (They only allow one family
member to communicate; in our case, two - Whitney and
myself.)

Wonder of wonders, found out that Mom was sitting up
and eating real food - a bit of a challenge, since her
neck is in a brace, but she was doing it.

"She is being fed by her "Angel Grandchild," Jessie
reported. "Erin's there?" I asked, since she is Mom's
Angel Child.

"No," answered Jessie, "It is her Angel Grandchild,
Whitney."

Well, I was bowled over. Whitney got on the phone and
confirmed that Mom was indeed eating. An attempt to put
a feeding tube down her throat didn't work - and she
did NOT like the idea at all - so they asked if she
thought she could handle real food.

Mome explained that she's having surgery tomorrow
(true, she's scheduled for surgery back here) and can't
eat the night before. Whitney assured her that I had
cancelled the appt (true), at which point Mom appar-
ently said, "Bring on the grub!" So, Peter and Whitney
had the pleasure of helping serve Mom's dinner tonight.

Exactly what her condition is and how they are going
to treat was still iffy as of late this afternoon.

Interesting - when John and I headed for the elevators,
a doctor I'd never seen before walked past us, talking
on his cell phone. "About Mrs. Lockhart... " was all
he had to say and I had him in my sights.

Interesting - I forget what his speciality is, but he
told me that they are considering the possiblity that
the cervical disk dislocation might not be a new injury,
that it might predate the fall.

Interesting possibilities.

At this point, I get the feeling that they are comfort-
able talking about the one certainty - the fractured
neck - and determined to get more definite answers
about the rest.

Until they have the answers, they're not going to
theorize about care. Good going!

I have had people ask about her room # for cards and
flowers. Will let you know as soon as she is out of ICU.
Until then, no cards, no letters and certainly no phone
calls.

The plan, at this point, is for me to head down to VA
after work on Friday. I know Whitney is doing a grand
job as family point person. This doesn't have anything
with needing to be there for Mom and everything about
needing to be there for ME.

No idea when she'd be able to head back home. I could
not ask for her to be in a better place. She has warm
affection for Alexandria from numerous visits over the
past quarter century - Pam Green's wedding in the early
'70s, the Scottish Walk, the Virginia Scottish Games,
swinging down just for the fun of it.

As Whitney says, Virginians seem to cherish their older
ladies and I can see that in the care & consideration &
sense of dignity the physcians and staff have already
shown. She has a beloved granddaughter within easy hug
range and that granddaughter is not one to brook any
nonsense from nobody, no way, no how. Pity the nurse or
physician who appears to be blocking what her Gocky needs!!

And the state bird of Virginia is the red cardinal!!
Need I say more??

We are being well taken care of. Paul & Judy took us to
lunch yesterday, Louise is shooing us out of the house
tomorrow. Bob & Kathryn Ripley took us out to dinner
tonight; they are in town on their way down to Baltimore
tomorrow,heading home to California from BWI Airport
after a week of checking out Fenway Park, Yankee Stadium
and other baseball shrines. Those dear, wonderful people
took these two weary folk out to dinner even though
they're weary themselves, having driving down from above
Cooperstown, NY.

Such courtesies and company are balm for our souls.

Am bushed - what a day. It is 11:20 and I am past tired.

Am off to bed. Will keep you posted on Mom. *eln*