(my regrets for the delayed reposting – computer was down. elm)
Subject: … and give thee peace
Date: July 27, 2011
This week's weather reminds me of my wedding week, 65 years ago
this month.
1936 might seem like a very long time ago to some of you ~ the
majority of you were not even a gleam in your father's eye yet ~
but to me it can seem like yesterday.
It can seem that way especially during a week like this one, which
mirrored my own wedding week.
The week Pete and I were married will sound familiar to anyone
who sweltered through this last week in Bryn Athyn - it was
uncomfortably hot and so humid.
I did not let the weather get me down, all those years ago.
There was nothing I could do to make it better. Instead, I
focused on the reality that in a few days, I would be Pete's
wife, forever and ever.
Our wedding took place in the cathedral's chapel. Only about
thirty people can fit into the cathedral's chapel, but it was
enough for us.
Pete asked Len Weitzel - his best friend, who'd help engineer
our first meeting on that fateful New Year's Eve - to be his
best man.
Since my sister Betty was with the Edwin Asplundh family in
California and could not get to the wedding - distances were
really distant back then - I asked my older sister, Dorothy or
Dot, to be my maid of honor. (Dot was her usual straightforward
self - "I know you only asked me to be your maid of honor
because Betty isn't here. I am glad she is not here and that I am!")
We were prepared to roast in the small chapel, the four of us on
the tiny chancel. Of course, Bishop Alfred Acton expected to be
steaming in his robes.
When the next day - my wedding day - dawned, it was much like
this morning - beautiful, with blue skies, cooler temperatures
and no humidity. It was close to what our family refers to as a
pearl of a day.
I remember getting dressed at the church and how cool the fabric
of my dress felt as I put it on. (It was a far cry from the night
that Pete's father and step-mother gave a party in our honor, when
the black slip of my dress felt like hot steel when I put it on.)
I was especially lucky because Will Cooper had just designed a
contraption (still used today) that allows a wedding dress to be
put on a hanger and hoisted up, so a bride can just stand
underneath, raise her arms and – abba~ka~da~bra! - the dress
gently drops into place with a minimum of muss and fuss.
I remember a description in a book I love that described a young
bride as practically dancing to meet her husband. That was how I
felt that day - dancey inside.
When I came out to the East Lawn to have our photos taken, there
was Len, sitting under one of those great looming trees -- with
with a highball in his hand.
Pete seemed a bit on edge. I have know of grooms - quite a few -
who take a "glass of courage" (a stiff belt of alcohol) before getting
married. Len might have taken that route, but not Pete. He steadied
himself by chain smoking cigarettes before the wedding - which is
evident in our formal shots. Just look at his left hand!
Because there were so few people - comparatively, for a Bryn Athyn
wedding - we did not have a hymn before the service began. Instead,
I had "O Precious Sign" for my wedding march. My lifelong friend,
Joyce Cooper, played the organ.
As is traditional for a Bryn Athyn wedding. Pete and I entered the
chapel together, arm in arm. As we entered - and, my, the chapel
was filled - I heard someone say, "Oh, how sweet.” I remember being
happier than I could have imagined possible.
During the prayer, I had a hard time not bubbling up with laughter.
That was in part because I was so happy and it was part because all
through the prayer, Len was tracing the outlines of the stone inlay
with his hands. I never found out if he was enthralled by the design
or the coolness of the stone, but I will remember it for always.
I remember the feel of Bishop Action's hands as he said the blessing
over us. When we were betrothed earlier that summer - also in the
small chapel and also by Bishop Acton - I wore a wide-brimmed straw
hat. After the prayer, as Pete and I remained kneeling, I was aware of
Bishop Acton hesitating for a second as he stood before us. Suddenly
it dawned on me why he was pausing and I whipped off my hat so he
could place his left hand directly on my head as he placed his right on
Pete's.
That is one of the most powerful moments in both ceremonies, when the
minister places his hand on the couples' heads and says the beautiful
Triple Blessing - "The Lord bless thee and keep thee; the Lord make His
face to shine upon they and be gracious unto thee; the Lord lift up His
countenance upon you and give you peace."
Through the years, it never failed to give me a thrill when Pete and I
would take holy supper, side by side, and the minister would place his
hands on our heads and say a blessing. It always took me back.
It would be nice for a husband and wife to have a "laying on of hands"
on their anniversary.
I am missing Pete now, feeling both filled with happy memories and a
strong sense of sadness missing the wonderful, exceptional man who
was my friend and lover throughout his life, right up to the very end.
Near that end, Mim and I went to visit him at in the nursing home (he'd
slipped into the coma that served as a bridge between this world and
the next). A nurse said to me, "Mrs. Lockhart, he knows you're here."
Disbelieving, I looked over to the bed where he lay - and she was right;
there was his hand, moving over the sheet of his bed, looking for mine.
On that note, I am leaving you, with lots of lot and a few tears –
Mrs. Raymond Lewis Lockhart
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